What is Grief?
Grief is a uniquely human experience that touches us all at some point. It is a natural and inevitable response to loss and significant life transitions. Grief can be triggered by a wide range of experiences, from the death of a loved one to the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or the passing of a beloved pet.
Guide to navigate complexity of Grief
It affects us physically and emotionally.
The experience of grief can be deeply isolating, evoking intense emotions like pain, sadness, distress and even shock, anger, denial, and a sense of emptiness. It can also impact us physically. Common physical responses to grief include difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating, and lack of energy.
It is highly individualised.
The grief process is often described in stages, such as the five stages identified by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, the reality is that the grief experience is highly personalized, and not everyone will go through all of these stages, nor in a specific order. The grief journey is profoundly shaped by the personal history and meaning attached to that connection.
It comes in waves.
It can be helpful to think of grief as akin to the waves of the sea – sometimes high and intense, sometimes low and manageable. In the beginning, the waves of grief may feel overwhelming, but over time, they tend to become less frequent and less severe. Navigating this process requires patience and self-compassion, as we slowly integrate the loss into our lives and adapt to our new reality.
There is no “right” way or timeline.
Grief is a slow and deeply personal process, and it is important not to rush it. The intensity of our grief is inextricably linked to the depth of our love for the person or object we have lost. As such, grief can linger for an extended period. The key is to give ourselves the time and space to mourn, accept the loss, and heal at our own pace.
Reach out and care for yourself.
Reaching out to supportive friends and loved ones can be very helpful during this time. You don’t need to face it alone. Allow yourself to express your feelings openly. It’s also crucial to take care of yourself. Go for walks, exercise, and maintain a regular sleep and eating schedule.
Honour and remember the departed.
Finding your own way to express your feelings and memorialise the departed can be a meaningful part of the grieving process. This could involve writing a letter, creating art, starting a memorial project, or participating in activities in their honour. Grief is not about severing ties but establishing a different, ongoing connection, even in the face of their physical absence.
Seek professional support.
Grief can be challenging to navigate on one’s own. If you find that grief is significantly impacting your daily life, seeking individual psychotherapy can be enormously helpful. It does not mean “fixing” your loss. Rather, it is a safe space to process emotions and move towards a place of greater acceptance and healing.
References
Klass, D., Silverman, P. R., & Nickman, S. (2014). Continuing bonds: New understandings of grief. Taylor & Francis.
Neimeyer, R. A. (2002). Lessons of loss: A guide to coping. Center for the Study of Loss and Transition.
Worden, J. W. (1991). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner (2nd ed.). Springer Publishing Company.
